Shotgun Wedding
by Poison's Ivy
Summary: In a world of aristocracy and arranged marriages, Tim Scam decides that he refuses to marry his idiotic fiancee. He then finds Samantha, who could pass as his fiancee's identical twin, and blackmails her into wearing the veil on his wedding day instead.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Shotgun Wedding  
><strong>**Summary: **In a world of aristocracy and arranged marriages, Tim Scam decides that he refuses to marry his idiotic fiancee. He then finds Samantha, who could pass as his fiancee's identical twin, and blackmails her into wearing the veil on his wedding day instead.  
><strong>Genres: <strong>Romance/Humor/Drama  
><strong>Pairing: <strong>Scam/Sam  
><strong>Dedicated to: <strong>Cresenta's Lark, because I felt like dedicating something to you lol. Yay! :P

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><p>With a hand hidden in his pocket, Tim sipped the wine from his glass and decided that it was nowhere near strong enough to get him drunk. Which was too bad, really, because his fiancee, bless her idiotic soul, would not <em><strong>shut up. <strong>_Bitch.

Maybe if he was drunk, whatever she was saying would flow through one ear and out the other more easily than it was doing now. Or she'd finally get the chance to get him calm enough to actually _sleep _with her, (he snorted at this. Like he'd ever get drunk enough to make **that **kind of mistake). Still, getting drunk around her, as appealing as it was, was a bad idea. Maybe a better idea would be to get **her** drunk, and then stick her in a room with some other random idiot. If he was lucky, (which he usually wasn't come to think of it. He _was _getting married to... _**that**__._), she would sleep with the other idiot instead, get pregnant and be forced to have a wedding without himself.

He looked at her mouth moving and did not bother to pretend to listen. Actually, that previous plan was sounding like a better idea every second...

Looking away to gaze at the rest of the party, Tim sighed, not caring that his brat of a fiancee, (she acted more like she was five than in her early twenties), was appalled at his behavior. Right now he was too busy inwardly growling at his mother for predicting him too well and not having any strong alcohol at the party. Hm. Maybe he could sneak out and get some...

For a woman who prided herself on predicting her son's actions well, his mother didn't have a very good sense of what woman would be right for him. Just look at Annie. Or Anna. Or something. He didn't particularly care. When his loving fiancee finally gained some brain cells in that head of hers, he'll try (no promises) to learn her name.

He took another sip of his wine. It was going to be a long night.

Two hours later, he was ready to shoot himself in the foot if it would just give him the excuse to fucking _leave._ Or even better, shoot his future **wife**. Actually that sounded very appealing. Though shooting her was messy. Hmm. He'd figure it out.

She had followed him everywhere he went. To the bar. To his friends. She stood outside _**the fucking bathroom**_ for Pete's sake. He should have slammed the door on her fingers and laughed when she screamed. How his mother managed to find the most psychotic bitch with the worst case of borderline personality disorder ever, he would never know. If he thought about it, he was sure his mother said something like, "Oh she's my good friend's daughter! You'll love her!" Well his mom apparently had stupid friends for them to have such idiotic daughters like this one. He should give her some advice later, something like, **he was not into ****idiots****. **

Especially not clingy idiots. If she kept staring at him with those stupid big green eyes of hers, he would take the nearest knife and **stab **her eyeballs with it and not care who was watching.

Tim gripped the glass between his fingers tighter but willed himself to calm down before he broke it. If anyone's blood was going to be shed tonight, it would be hers.

Another hour passed at the party and he was ready to rip his ears out. He couldn't take much more of this. He _wouldn't _take much more of this.

He was getting out of this wedding. No matter what it took.

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><p>He just didn't know how to go about it.<p>

Talking to his mother to cancel this ridiculous wedding was pointless. She assumed he was happy, (how she got to that conclusion, he would never know), or sprouted off some nonsense about how Anna-banana-whatever was good for him. Unless making his ears bleed was _healthy_, he highly doubted that this bitch was good for him.

Maybe he could pay someone to kidnap her. Heavens knew he had enough money to do so. Yes. That could work. Kidnap her _conveniently _on the day before his wedding, (or on his wedding; whatever upped the drama and the screaming), and then let her never be seen again.

Of course, even if Anne-whatever jumped off a cliff tonight, (he wished), his mother would **still **get him to marry some other dumb bitch; (the females born this generation seemed to share a lack of braincells. Perhaps thats why there weren't any smart ones around; the only brain they seemed to have was spread out thin amongst them. Well that didn't make much sense though. He was positive that they had no brain to speak of at all.)

So the main issue was his mother. His bachelor-status, (which he liked, thank you very much), was the main concern. Maybe if he got married...?

Yet that didn't get rid of Ann. Or whatever her name was.

So okay. Get rid of Annabelle and get his mother to stop pestering him about marriage. All with one big swoop.

He was embarassed to say that he wasn't actually sure how to go about that.

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><p>Another week passed. Another week closer to his God-forsaken wedding. He didn't have much time. He had to do something. He had to come up with <em>something<em> yet all he was getting were murder plots and elopement. Which was... not enough. Sadly. (Though the murder sounded very appealing. But he wasn't really into elopement. He wasn't into marriage at all, actually.)

He didn't know what to do. A few more weeks and he would be stuck with that bitch and have to live a life of listening to her whine and blab about nothing. Then he would peel her lips off with his razor and smile. But that could get him into trouble. Which he wouldn't mind, if it wasn't for the fact that his mother's reputation would be ruined. And she was _oh so proud _of her good reputation. Tsk. Women.

He ran a hand through his hair as he made his way through a local bazaar surrounded by the smell of cooked food and trinkets on display. Whatever luck he had (if any) just ran out.

But then he got it. More specifically, he got _her._

Maybe it was the sweltering heat and the mirage playing tricks on him, but he could have sworn he saw her. His dreaded fiancee. Shopping. _In a bazaar? _Which made no sense. But she didn't walk with that stupid sway of hips that his fiancee seemed to prefer. No, she walked like a normal human being, not some Barbie clone manufactured in a factory designed to torment men like him.

He hesitated to go up to her but when he saw her haggling, (_haggling? That bitch knew what it meant to not needlessly throw her money everywhere?_), and decided that she couldn't **possibly** be his future wife. Unless she was a _bi-polar_ psycho who had a severe case of borderline personality disorder and liked to mess around with him. If she wasn't such an idiot, he would have thought it to actually be the case.

When he walked up to her, he used his hand to flick something out of her hands and onto the street. Of course, he, being the manipulative gentleman that he was, picked it up and waved it in front of her face to tell her she had lost something.

He wasn't expecting her to look... _exactly the same. _The same red hair (though it reached her hips and wasn't in that short cut his fiancee prefered) and those eyes; those stupid green eyes that always looked at him with stupid hope and shit, but _this girl_, whoever she was, looked... _smarter._ As if her head **wasn't** a useless pile of weight with no brain in it (like most, if not all, girls he knew). Of course the fact that she didn't act or feel or look like some braindead idiot made him certain that this wasn't his wife at all.

The fact that she didn't recognize him, or at least pretended not to, (though his fiancee wasn't capable of pulling off such a great scheme), when he held up the fallen apple and smiled at her, was what sealed the deal.

"Oh thank you!" she said in a voice that was somewhat deeper than the airy light voice that the bimbo he was attached to had.

He would look into it, to be sure, but he knew that this girl wasn't the horrible bane of his existance. He had spent too much time around her (unfortunately) and knew her mannerisms. This girl wasn't the same.

"It's no problem at all", he said, his happiness shining through his voice. There was another woman out there who looked just like his wife. And if this was true (and how he hoped it was) then well... a plan starting forming in his mind. "I'm Tim", he said, extending a hand to shake hers.

She smiled back at him and he found it wasn't nearly as annoying as his future wife's smile. He didn't know how, but it just wasn't. She reached for his hand and shook it. "Samantha."

He knew how to get out of this wedding. _Without _getting out of this wedding.

He smirked at his stroke of luck. Perhaps he wasn't as unlucky as he once thought.

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><p><strong>So yea guys. I got this idea randomly while trying to sleep and HAD to write it down even though now I have less hours to sleep because I have to wake up at ... 7 tomorrow. -.- It's 1:30. Sigh. Not cool. BUT STILL. TELL ME SOMEONE LIKES THIS IDEA SO I DIDN'T LOSE SLEEP IN VAIN! <strong>

**Love you guys. Sorry for the short chapter, but if you hadn't noticed, I'm sleepy. Spellcheck still doesn't work so if you see glaring spelling errors, just do me a favor and ignore it. I'm sure I'll see it on my own eventually anyway. If this gets a good response I'll probably continue it very very soon (provided that college doesn't try to kill me this week).**

**And if you guys don't care about me losing sleep to write this, well then I'll just take the other route and tell Scam to peel YOUR lips off with a razor if you don't review! (Okay. Sorry. I guess that's too mean. Just kidding. Heh. Kind of.)**

**In all seriousness, please tell me what you guys think and if I should continue this or not. **

**Love,  
><strong>**Ivy**


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: This is a weird time frame in history. It's like science is a big thing, yet society is still backwards. Is that weird? Make it up! :D **

**Anyways, next chapter of Shotgun Wedding:**

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><p>"Live around here?"<p>

Samantha nodded and pushed a strand of hair away from her face. "A nearby town, yes. What about you?"

_Oh in some palace somewhere. _"I live nearby as well. A pretty girl like you isn't walking home alone is she?" He asked, putting on a smiling charm that usually had girls swooning. He just need to get close to her and take his fiancee's place. (At least that was the plan. He usually liked planning things out to every minute and every inch of detail, however meeting her was never in his plans.)

Sam bit her lip and smiled, a small blush tainting her cheeks.

_Oh he had her now. _

"It's fine. I'm very capable of defending myself", she said with a sly tone, as if she was hiding something. He raised an eyebrow.

"I believe you, but I don't think it's wise of any gentleman to leave a young lady walking home by herself. Please, allow me to accompany you", he said with a soft bow. He hated bowing to others but he knew how this game worked. (Unfortunately his mother seemed to think otherwise. She just didn't know that he hated the female gender because most of them in his generation were a bunch of useless gossiping idiots.)

Sam looked at him with a raised eyebrow and nodded before chuckling, "That's fine."

He was carrying the basket of fruits she had bought from the market. She seemed like a healthy eater. "Your father lets you go shopping on your own?"

An aura of sadness seemed to drift over her but it was gone a second later. He noticed.

"No, um, he doesn't mind... I don't really have much of a choice", she said, laughing nervously to try and cover it up but it was obvious that there was something wrong. Tim glanced at the girl. Her clothing wasn't of bad material and her hair and skin seemed to be in good clean condition. However she had been shopping on her own and it was obvious with the way she was clutching her purse and staying near him, that she was used to walking on the streets alone and was probably thankful that she had someone with her. There was no wedding band on her finger (which was great for him), but typically a girl her age should have been arranged to be married already, if not already married.

"I see." Tim said, nodding but not asking any questions. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable with it; besides he already figured out what happened.

Her parents were already dead. Which meant many parents didn't want her getting married to their sons without a dowry. But she seemed to have money, probably an inheritance, which meant she didn't want to marry herself off and that she was an only child, since the inheritance would usually go to a brother who would have had her get married as soon as possible anyways.

Which meant she had been lonely for a long time.

_Which was great for him. _Because it was so much easier to trap her if she had no where else to go.

Heh. This would be a piece of cake.

"Tell me about yourself", he said instead, and Sam smiled and started speaking about her studies. She was studying science, and biology and psychology were of great interest to her. (This must be why she wasn't getting married; she was spending her money on school instead.) She went on a tangent about a new study of neurons and Tim realized that this girl was intelligent. Very intelligent. He started speaking about his own studies (he was also a science person as well, but more into the chemistry aspect of it). In minutes they were conversing as if they knew each other their whole lives.

As they continued walking, Tim saw that this girl did not live nearby at all, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. All he could think about was her, this new stranger, and how she looked just like his fiancee and if he did a swap...

_No one might notice. _

And then he could have _her_ instead. This strange mystery girl who intrigued him and looked **exactly** like his fiancee. But with a brain and a personality. Someone he could actually relate to.

The gears in his head were already turning even as they continued their conversation. He could have his fiancee kidnapped within seconds and place Sam in her place. No one would ever know. He could say he's moving out and take Sam with him; that way they wouldn't have to keep in contact with anyone who could figure out that Sam and Anna weren't the same person.

It could work, he thought. It could really work.

Sam stopped walking suddenly and Scam realized that they were in front of her home. It was a modest sized cottage house with a nice yard and locked windows, he noticed with an inward smirk. So he was right in his assumptions.

"This is me... Thank you for walking me home", she said with a genuine smile. He gave her a smile before taking her hand and kissing it.

"It was my pleasure... Would I be honored to see you again tomorrow?" he asked, adding an extra dose of charm. Sam blushed and nodded, and he handed her the basket and she went inside.

He went home very satisfied.

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><p>The next morning he completely avoided his mother and left the house before Anna could wake up from her precious beauty nap and come visit him. In a good mood for the first time in months, Scam made his way back to the town where Sam's home was. He had already memorized the terrain yesterday and knew every crook and nanny of the area. He continued walking, figuring that taking any other form of transportation would alert his mother.<p>

He reached her home by high noon and knocked on the door. He knocked again and again for five minutes straight until he realized that something was off.

She probably wasn't home, but that was all right. It was a good time to get some information on this mystery girl. Using a pin in his pocket, he picked the lock of the front door easily and walked inside, expecting to see furniture and other girly things.

Except what he saw shocked him.

There was nothing. No furniture, no personal belongings. NOTHING. In fact, it didn't look like anyone lived in there at all.

The anger started burning in his chest. Did that little minx trick him? Was this not her home?

He kept walking around the house, pacing in anger, until he saw it.

An apple. The same shade and size as the one from yesterday, and the coloring was exact as well. (He had good memory. What could he say.)

She was here. She used to live here.

And then she disappeared. As if she didn't even exist.

Tim growled in anger. He would get to the bottom of this. No mystery girl would come into his life and VANISH as if she never existed.

_No one got away from him._

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><p><strong>I love mysteries. So what do you guys think happened? :D<strong>

**Okay I'll be honest; I don't know what happened. But I'll give you guys two options and tell me which way you'd prefer the story to go.**

**A) Stay in the same setting and continue with this storyline. **

**B) It's all an illusion... o_O Dun dun dun. **

**Let me know!**

**Love you all,**

**Ivy**


	3. Chapter 3

He could have taken down a city with the anger he was feeling. He almost broke down the door leaving the cottage, before remembering that it would leave more questions than he needed about his appearance in this part of town.

Still burning with anger, he walked in a rapid fashion, his destination being the same city he found her in. If he found her once in this crowded place, he would find her again.

The market wasn't as crowded as yesterday. It was still early in the day and the sun was bright. Most people would wait until the sun wasn't at such a high point in the sky.

It took him ten minutes to walk around the area to realize she wasn't in the same location as yesterday. He continued walking, until he reached the center of the market: a big ceramic water fountain that spread some moisture into the hot air.

And then he saw her. The same long red-orange hair that was distinct to two women he knew, (well one woman. The other one had the mentality of a child.) He quickly walked towards her, his hand grabbing the end of her long hair and forcing her to turn around and face him.

The same green eyes that tormented him all night. It was her.

Tim gave her a bitter smile. So here she was. And here he thought she'd be smart enough to run to a different city if she wanted to escape from _him_.

"So you didn't disappear completely on me", he asked, attempting to add a little charm to his voice to make it softer so he wouldn't reveal how angry he was at her for leaving. _No one_ left him unless he wanted them to.

Samantha had the decency to bow her head down in shame. Hmph. She deserved to feel guilty.

"I'm sorry... There have been many men who have tried to walk me home to find out where I lived. It hasn't ended well", she said awkwardly, rubbing her hand against her arm while keeping her gaze away from him.

Tim's face turned stony and impassive, remembering that he had deduced that she lived alone. She was a pretty girl, (intelligence did _so much_ to make someone look appealing). It was obvious that a lot of men would try to take advantage of her loneliness.

Hm. Perhaps she was smarter than he realized. But still, that was no excuse to dismiss him as one of those _cavemen_. He placed his hands in his pocket and stood tall, using his imposing height to his advantage.

"And you thought I was one of ... _those _men?" he asked, letting his disdain show. Sam frowned.

"No... but I'll admit I had my suspicions about something else." Oh? He almost smirked. This he had to hear.

"And pray tell, what could that be?" He tried to sound annoyed but he was actually intrigued. Did he give something away yesterday?

Sam looked around the rather empty market before giving him a knowing look. "I know you don't live nearby." She had to bit her tongue to not laugh. He almost looked confused before probably realizing a man of his status should not look confused. "Your mother is Elizabeth Nordin-Scam. You're _Timothy Aaron Scam_, the heir to the richest family in the country."

... Tim stared at her for a minute before finally blinking. _How in the world did she figure that out?_

Sam shrugged and gave him a small smile, "I'm not dumb... Your experiments with the photon molecules is well known... I put two and two together after we spoke yesterday."

_... Who is this girl?_

He shook himself out of his thoughts quick enough to process an answer. "And you still thought I was a creep?"

She actually laughed at that, and he couldn't help but think it was a sweet sound. And then he realized how girlish that sounded and mentally hit himself to man up. He wasn't going to let him turn himself into some sap.

"No", she said with a bigger smile, showing off her straight teeth. "But I knew I needed to make sure I was right about who you were."

_Yet I know little to nothing about you. _He thought, a littled annoyed. He didn't like not having all the cards in his hands.

"I left you an apple in hopes that you realized that I'd be here waiting", she said shrugging. Tim looked at her in slight awe, remembering that no female in his generation that he knew would be smart enough to leave a clue behind.

"And..." Sam said hesitantly, not sure if she should go on.

"And?" He'd be damned if he wouldn't let her continue speaking. He needed to figure out who exactly this girl was. She figured him out in less than a day and he didn't even know her last name. He was slipping that's for sure.

See _this _is exactly why he liked being a bachelor. There was no losing brain cells like _this_.

"Well... It's well known you're engaged", she looked at him with a knowing (and slightly sad?) face. "I wanted to figure out why you were chatting me up when you have a fiancee waiting for you."

_Ah. _He knew that Anna-bitch would ruin this for him somehow.

He stepped closer to her, and a slightly worried Sam's eyes darted around nervously before he stepped even closer and backed her up against a wall.

"I'll tell you a little secret", he whispered huskily, making Sam blinked rapidly while a small blush formed on her face. "It was an arranged marriage and trust me when I say I don't want to be around her at all."

Sam gulped, his scent was engulfing her senses and it was too much to process at once. She licked her lips and didn't miss how his eyes caught that movement.

"I-if", she stopped to take in a deep breath and placed a hand on his shoulder to try and push him back. (He didn't budge. Stubborn man.) "If you hate her so much then why are you interested in _me_." It was a question formed as a weird sentence. He wondered how she managed to pull that off.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked with a smirk, pulling out all the stops to make sure he didn't have to go back to a redhead with short hair and the personality of a screeching harpy. Besides. The alternative seemed so much more _pleasing._

And of course, he didn't forget how he knew _nothing_ about this intuitive and intelligent girl (a rarity in this country, honestly). What better way to find out everything about her than to marry her?

"Not really", she whispered, frustrated. He chuckled.

"Well... you're intelligent, a great conversationlist, brilliant... not to mention beautiful." And then he gave her an award winning smile. (You know, the same ones he gave his mother when he told her that he was not at fault for whatever she was blaming him for. Always worked, that one.)

Sam's blush grew stronger but she managed to shake her head. "That's not what I meant."

_Please don't tell him she knew what his fiancee looked like too. _He thought, worried. She might have figured out his plan already and then all of this was useless if she was going to disagree. (And until he found out more about her, for example, her last goddamn name, he couldn't blackmail her with much.)

"Then what did you mean?" he asked, adding the smile as a bonus effect. Seems like he had to pull out everything for this mystery girl.

She looked at him with _that_ look again, the "I know you know what I'm talking about; I'm not stupid" look. His mother had the same look. Bless her soul he loved her but really. He **loathed** that stupid look.

"Your fiancee is a splitting image of me", Sam said, and Tim just felt like throwing something. Maybe he should just hire her to be his private detective. Seemed like she did a better job than his mother's workers. (But not _him_. He just needed more time to get to know this girl. That's all. He was NOT a failure. Hmph.)

Tim sighed. "I'll have you know she's a lot stupider."

She actually _laughed_ (not glared at him like he expected her to), before looking at him with a smile, "I know."

_Of __**course**_** she knew**. What didnt she know?

Well if he couldn't get her on information he would use what he had to his disposal. His close proximity to her.

He stepped closer and could feel the heat of her body through her clothes. Sam's face almost turned red and she had to look away from him, to a spot over his shoulder.

"The point is... I'm interested in _you_, not her."

And that was probably the most honest thing he ever said in his life. Not that he'd admit it, ever.

She raised an eyebrow at that though, "You don't know anything about me."

_And that will change. _"Then why don't you give me a chance to find out more, hm?" he asked, his lips close to the crook between her ear and neck. From the corner of his eye he saw her bit her lip and he moved his face to get closer to hers...

Only for her to slip out of his hold and cross her arms, looking at him with a sad smile. "I'm sorry... I'm not in a position to do that."

_What the hell does she mean she's not in a position. Women. Typical illogical behavior. _

"Meaning?" he asked, stepping closer to her. But she had learned her lesson once, and stepped back.

She winked at him, "I can't give you all the answers. Do some research yourself genius."

Tim scowled and stood up to his full height again, intent on telling her that _no one _(not even some smart-mouth wise ass) told him what to do, when she waved goodbye to him.

"I'm sorry Tim. Goodbye", and it seemed, against her better judgement, she blew him a kiss, signaling her farewell before she ran off. Leaving him alone, once again, without any answers.

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><p><strong>Whoo! Fastest update ever. I think this has only happened twice in my lifetime. <strong>

**So yeah. Sad ending. Sorry :( But it was either that, or you guys would find out all the details NOW (which is never any fun... for me heh), or I would have to change the summary and remove the "blackmail" part. **

**AND WHO DOESN'T LIKE BLACKMAIL! :D (Don't answer that.)**

**Please leave a review :) I'm hoping to finish this story up in 6-7 chapters. I think 5 is too short. **

**Love,  
>Ivy <strong>


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